sometimes I have these moments, tiny flashes of time, where I learn something from my children that changes my life and leaves me feeling a little winded or shocked. It's so easy to get caught in up in our roles as a family that I often totally miss the emotional development of someone, or don't see them fully for the whole human they are. To me, they are my children and in trying to provide for everyone's needs, keep meals on the table and some sense of hygiene and order in the home, make sure everyone's shoes fit, work out disputes and generally keep the peace. But they are people, living their own lives and having their own experiences ALL THE TIME. Sometimes I get to witness this but a lot of times I miss it until something happens, the tiny flash. Yesterday began in the usual bustle of getting three kids fed, dressed and out the door to an appointment that was close by to the music store that we rent Frances' 1/4 size fiddle from, and the bow needed replacing so in typical mom mode I decide to kill two birds with one stone/car trip. Plus I had the back up of the husband willing to wait in the car with the other kids which is golden. An opportunity to avoid taking a 22 month old into a store filled with expensive musical instruments should be seized. So here we are, just Frances and I going into the store together, just the two of us. The fiddle bow was exchanged, and the store clerk asked Frances if she would play for her, and Frances was delighted to oblige. I explained to the woman that Frances had decided that she didn't want to take lessons and explained to me that she all ready knew how to play and that I had learned a lot from the experience of watching her teach herself and just enjoy the experience of playing a musical instrument, creating her own sounds and improving on them in a pace that suited her perfectly and to her own standard. And this is true, it really has been a learning experience for me, watching this all unfold. When Frances finished playing, she told the woman that she was also very good at playing the piano (she is!) and the ukulele. The woman asked her where she found the time to play all of these instruments and Frances said "I find the time from myself. And, dropping out of school helped." And that was the moment. We all have time from ourselves. School does get in the way of teaching yourself how to make music and other really important things. I left that music store in awe of my daughter and her self-earned wisdom. Reminded that she is not just my child, but a whole person that I am privileged and delighted to know. The store clerk looked me in the eyes and said "bring her back ANYTIME." And I will.
